Hi sweetie, well our furbaby is with you now give him hugs from me tell him I love him and miss him so much, love you both xxxxx

hi my love how you doing better than me I should imagine it seems so long ago since I saw you and heard your voice and I miss you so much,i think of the things we did and sometimes a thought pops in my head and I laugh out loud,you could always make me laugh but you also made me feel safe and secure and loved and I will treasure what we had for all time I miss you les and right now id give anything to have you here but its not to be so ill just hold these memories in my heart I love you les xxxx

still in our thoughts mate miss you x

hi babe how you doing,im not to good at the moment les I feel so ill and I miss you being here I feel so alone babe,i know you would've looked after me,checking on me making me a cup of tea silly things really that mean so much,i get so angry les because you left me and I know you would've stayed if you could,you take no notice of me sweet im just feeling sorry for myself,i do miss you tho so very much ill get going got things to do going to mandys for a few days so she will cheer me up im sure chat soon babe love you xxxxx

hi sweetie 5 years wheres that gone then,seems like yesterday sometimes and todays not good it brings it all back,not that I need a particular day not really,i miss you so very much theres so much I want to say to you,i ache to hear your voice,feel your arms round me hear you tell me everythings going to be alright,i worry so much about this blood disorder les and I worry about whats happening to me,i lie in bed at night and if I lie still long enough I can almost hear you saying im here ill take care of you,i feel you giving me the strength to get through the days but the nights are still so long and so lonely,do you miss me as much as I miss you? do you ache to hold me like I do you?so many questions les and no answers but ill know one day wont cos I know we will meet again one day I love you I always have so you have a good time with everyone ok just stick around awhile wont you im not ready to let you go just yet.goodnight babe I love you and I miss you so very much xxxxx

hi babe well its been a log time since I wrote on here but that doent mean I don't think about you every single day,especially today on your birthday.i need a little help here bab im in a bit of a fix and I don't know what to do,i want to go home les I want you here to talk to to advise me tell me what to do les please.i feel such a fool I feel so used and I cant tell anyone and I need to talk to someone but where do I turn. I thought id got it sussed babe but I haven't and you would know what to do so if you are around please help me bab cos your the only one who can anyway id better go ill come on again real soon babe night les I love you and I miss you so much xxxxxx

well what can i say 4 years wheres it gone its still not right without you babe i miss and love you so much i wish you were here i still dont know if ive done the right thing with this boat as good as it is but we will see anyway you give mum and dad my love and im sending you lots of hugs and kisses love you les stay close please xxxxxx

Merry christmas uncle les. love you xxxx

well i dont know babe three years it seems like yesterday wheres it gone hey,i wish you were here i miss you so much,i need your strengh and your wisdom right about now.why did you leave me its so hard without you,i try to be strong and its just not working,i must be good though bab everyone believes me they dont know how i still cry for you though,how much i still struggle sometimes to get through the days and the nights,the nights are the worst you know sometimes i hear you shout me and i want it to be real so very much to get up and you be there,oh well maybe in time it will be more bearable till then ill keep smiling and pretending im fine. i love you sweet and i miss you so much xxxx

Merry Christmas uncle les. Love you xxxxxxxx

hi mate its us again . cant beleave its 2 years . keep lookin after our chris cos we know u r , cheers mate love and miss u x

Hey uncle les. 2 years today you was taken from us,I hope you are looking over auntie chris and giving her strength to carry on cos I know she misses you so much. We all miss you. Love you always uncle les xxxx

hi bab theres so much i want to say and i dont know where to start,im trying so hard not to cry has i write this but its not working.i need you so much les i need your strengh and your comfort,im so tired bab im tired of being afraid and im tired of being lonely i have never felt so alone in my whole life and i dont no what to do.im tired of smiling and laughing round people cos thats what they want to see when all the while i want to drop to my knees and scream and cry.everyday is a struggle and im so sorry les but i dont no how much longer i can take this pain and this feeling of emptiness.i try so hard i really do but its so hard without you and mum why couldnt he have let one of you stay why did i have to lose both of you,its so unfair les theres really nothing to keep me here i havent got a life without you its an existance which if im honest i can really do without,every night i go to bed and pray tomorrow will be better but it never is i get so angry because people say time heals well you no what it doesnt and what the hell do they no anyway,i get angry with you for leaving me alone and im so sorry because it wasnt your fault i no you wouldve stayed if you could,but why didnt you fight harder why did you leave me alone.i love you les and i want you here with me i want to feel your arms round me and hear you tell me it will be alright,i want to hear you tell me you love me and i want to feel safe and wanted and loved,i want to go in the garden and see you pottering in the shed and hear you ask for a cup of tea,but its never going to happen im never going to see you again in this life and i dont no if i can cope with that not anymore.i love you les and i honestly dont no whats going to happen to me but whatever happens please be there at my side and give the strengh and courage to cope.i love you xxx

yo kido sorry its late . but happy birthday your in our thoughts mate especialy today on this ur birthday we miss u matey xx

hi bab well another birthday without you i hope youve had a good one and you liked your flowers.i miss you so much les i wish you were here with me i cant stop crying i long to feel your arms round me it seems an eternity since i last saw you i cant wait to see you again i love you les happy birthday babe xxxxxx

hi bab how are you happy valentines day i wish you were here les i miss you so much i thought it might start getting easier but it doesnt.i think about you everyday and something happens or someone says something and i want to come home and tell you and youre not here.im so lost without you bab and its so hard im trying i really am but i just cant seem to move past this wanting you and crying for you maybe one day hey. i love you xxxxx

hi babe well thats another birthday without you and christmas is only a couple of weeks away,i missed you so much yesterday i kept thinking about what we wouldve done and where we wouldve have gone,im dreading christmas without you cos i miss you so much and its just not the same without you help me get through it les cos sometimes i feel like im fighting a losing battle,i love you and i miss you so much merry christmas babe xxxxx

hi sweetie how are you i wish i could hear you answer me i long to know how you are.i wish i could talk to you and hear what you would advise bab cos i dont really no what to do,you see ive been thinking about moving away but i feel like i would be leaving you and i cant bear that.you always used to say if anything happened to you id be sold up and gone and i always agreed with you but its easier said than done.i just dont no how much longer i can go on like this les wanting you and needing you i no ive got family here and i love them so much but im so lonely les and its getting unbearable if you can please help me decide what to do cos i dont no who else to talk to about this.perhaps it wouldve been easier if youd been cremated cos then i couldve took you with me.i feel such a burden to everyone and i dont want to feel like this so please help me to do whats best.i love you les and i miss you so much xxxxxx

hi bab i havent wrote for awhile and im sorry but it doesnt mean i dont think about you cos i do every day.ive started a new job bab and it seems to be going well i just wish when i came home you would be here to welcome me i still miss you so much theres so much i want to say to you and i long still to hold you and feel your arms round me ill never stop loving you les or needing you here i love you so much and my heart aches to see you,they say time heals well let me tell you times not helping me much. i love you sweetie xxxx

hi babe i found the part written letter you had started writing last night,i couldnt stop crying im so sorry les that you thought what you did,please believe me when i tell you i love you i always have i just got a little lost for awhile when we lost mum, i didnt no where to go or who to turn to i felt so alone and i realise now you wouldve helped me i just never gave you the chance did i.i was so afraid you wouldnt support me because i kept thinking how you had been when i lost my dad,im sorry i shouldnt have done that cos that was so long ago and i no you loved mum as much as us.i wish i could see you and talk to you one more time so i could make you see how much i love you please believe me les xxxxxxx

i love you xxxxxx

hi babe me again i seem to be a bit better since going on the tablets i had to go back on them les even though i didnt want to,you see the thoughts i kept having were frightening me and i no you wouldnt want me to do anything silly.ill tell you this les i came close real close and thats what frightened me,its ok folks saying its selfish but they havent been to that place,its so dark and so lonely its like theres nothing and nowhere to go noone to turn to and all i could think about was being with you and my mum and dad.i still miss you so much but at least im coping better,i no you have been with me helping me and giving me the strengh to go on thank you for that.dont leave me just yet will you i love you babe xxxxx

hi sweetie how are you im not to bad gone back on the tablets and they are helping me cope a bit better. they dont take this pain away though les i dont think it will ever go away.i miss you every single day theres always a reason for me wanting you or needing you, when will it stop les this ache down inside this pain in my heart,i understand now what they mean when they say a broken heart cos thats how mine feels like its broken in two.i want you here with me so much sometimes i cant think straight i love you so much do you know that did i tell you enough im sorry if i didnt,we tend to think weve got so much time dont we when really weve got no time at all,where did it go les those 29 years we were together it seems like yesterday and yet sometimes it seems a lifetime ago,i cant wait to see you again and feel your arms round me i love you les i always will xxxxxxx

well its a year tomorrow bab where does time go it only seems like yesterday. i keep thinking this time last year you were still here if only id known perhaps i could have done something. why isnt it getting any easier les why does this yearning and this longing still persist,why did you leave me,there are so many whys and i cant get no answers and its tearing me apart,i dont think i can go on like this for much longer because i really dont no what to do and i dont no how to carry on without you.im so tired les im tired of trying to be alright and putting a brave face on when all i want to do is scream and shout,im tired of the loneliness and the hurt and i keep thinking why do i keep waking up when all i want is to be with you and my mum and dad,ive had enough les i want it to go away and i want to stop feeling like this.i get so frightened bab cos i dont no what to do or where to turn,i want you here with me i want to feel your arms round me and hear you tell me it will be alright and i ache to hear you say you love me why did you leave me why,i love you les i always have and i miss you so much. xxxxxx

well les its 1st of may tomorrow our wedding anniversary and its the first one without you this time last year you were here and we went out for a meal to celebrate do you remember,i sit and i wonder what we couldve done different if we had known you had only got a few more weeks with me, i still wish everyday that you were still here i miss you so much. i try so hard les but its not getting any easier i really wish i could stop crying and feeling like im falling apart but it seems so endless, i wish i could talk to someone who would understand but there isnt anyone not now youve gone because you were the only person who ever really understood me, i know i keep asking but what am i going to do without you i feel so emoty and so lonely even when im with people. i love you sweetie happy anniversary think about me wont you xxxxxxx

i have lost my souls companion a life linked with my own and day by day i miss him more as i walk through life alone xxxxxx

hi bab i cannot believe its april already this time last year you were still here,i miss you so much why doesnt it get easier,i think of all the things we could have done and all the places we never got to visit i need you so much and i dont no what to do or where to turn i cannot tell you how i feel les because i cant put it into words just know i love you and i miss you so much. xxxxxxx

its your birthday tomorrow and i dont no how im going to get through it its the first ive not been with you in 28 years.i hope you like your flowers ive got you,your alan and jan planted some flowers for you here at home i thought that was nice because they will come every year.this time last year you were still here how can it be that youre not here now,i need you so much les i talk to you everyday why dont you answer me i can see your face so clearly but i cant remember what you sound like and i so long to hear your voice.i take cracker a walk and i think what if i just keep walking and dont look back will it make it any easier i just dont know les i feel so confused.sometimes the thoughts and feelings i get frighten me,i know you are giving me strengh but its not enough i want you back here with me.i want to hear your voice and feel your arms around me and not being able to have that is killing me,i am so sorry for how i feel i know you wouldnt want this but theres nothing i can do about it,losing my mum and dad was so hard but with you i feel like somethings been ripped away,i feel so empty you were my soulmate my reason for being and now youve gone theres nothing left to keep me here i love you les,ive wrote this today because i wont have the strengh tomorrow ill bring your flowers tomorrow babe so until then you stay close ok love you xxxx

hi sweetie well ive been busy ive decorated the hall and living room,i hope youre proud of me and what ive done.i missed you though bab you wouldve been making me a cup of tea and then telling me to stop cos id done enough,what am i going to do without you hey,its the stupid things like decorating that make it worse.you wouldve painted me the skirting boards because you knew i wasnt very good at painting them.i cried so much when i first started doing it,you should be here with me helping me with these things this time last year you were still here how can you not be here,i know i keep saying it but i miss you so much and theres so much i want to say to you,why did this happen les how could you be ok and then suddenly be gone i keep asking myself why i didnt ask questions when it happened.i want so much to understand i want to know why when you looked so well you took ill so suddenly theres so many questions les and i dont have any answers.i love you babe i always have sleep tight my sweet xxxxx

hi bab how are you better than me i bet,i thought it was getting better les but it isnt why cant i stop crying i try so hard but i just cant seem to get it together,i feel so alone les and i dont no what to do.why arent you here why did you leave me when i need you so much.im not feeling to good at the moment and you wouldve have looked after me and i miss that so much,how do i get through this les i wish i knew because right now i cant see any light at the end of this tunnel.i try so hard to be positive and it just doesnt work i wish i could have you back or at least be with you.i feel like theres nothing left here for me anymore and i hate feeling like this,i really dont want to go down that road again les but i can feel myself slipping and i dont think ive got the strengh to stop it happening.its like being in a darkness and you cant see a light to lead the way,p;ease be my light and help me cos i dont think i can do this alone i need you so much i love you les xxxxxxx

hi sweetie hope you like the photo of our baby he really enjoyed the snow i wish you couldve been there with me.i still miss you so much im going to start in the garden soon so i hope you will be there helping me cos you know im no good at that sort of thing .why arent you here les you should be here with me,sorry bab im trying really i am went to your alan and jans at the weekend colin did a mexican night so i stayed at jans,i enjoyed it got a bit tipsy so for a couple of hours i could forget perhaps i should turn to drink.dont worry im not going to you know me better than that,but i wish there was something to stop this pain and this longing i feel,i ache for you just to feel your arms round me oh god les i miss you so much i love you babe xxxxx

hi bab hope you are ok i wish i was why wont this pain go away les i thought i was coping so well but you no what im not.i miss you so much and the weather doesnt help i no we wouldnt have gone anywhere but at least you wouldve have been here and that wouldve made such a difference.im so tired les im tired of crying all the while and trying to put a brave face on so people think im ok.im sorry for burdening you with this but i havent really got anyone else.i no people care and thats great but they dont want to hear or see me being miserable theyve got their own lives and their own problems.im sorry i havent been able to get to the cemetery bab i no you would say it doesnt matter but it matters to me anyway hopefully ill be able to get this weekend i hope so.ill see you soon babe love you xxxxxx

hi sweetie thanks for looking after me on holiday,i know you was there but i missed you so much im glad i saw her get married i was so proud les and i know you wouldve been.you wouldve loved it it was everything you liked i wish i couldve shared it with you.i love you les and i miss you so much xxxxx

well its nearly here bab i wish i could get excited but i should have been packing for two shouldnt i.i still cant take it in that youre not here and not coming with me though thats wrong cos i know you will be with me,but you see les id so looked forward to you going and the plans we had for when we got there.i know im not going to be alone but sometimes les even with people round me im so lonely its unbearable,please be there with me and help me cos i do want to enjoy it but i know its going to be so hard without you.i love you sweetie i always have and always will merry christmas les i love you xxxxxx

hi bab well its my birthday tomorrow the first in 28 years that i havent had you here with me and how im going to miss hearing you say happy birthday sweetheart i love you.i long to hear your voice les its strange because i cant remember what you sound like.i see your face all the time i only have to close my eyes and you are there.it seems so cold and empty here without you.i love you babe xxxxx

what is the meaning of the word lost?is it what im feeling right now?the feeling of lonliness and never knowing who your real friends are,not knowing who your real identity is the crying of your empty heart,now that theres a hole there.always hoping today will be your last,but i have to go on knowing you are never coming back,knowing i never said a proper goodbye,never knowing if and when the pain will stop.the anger and sadness that is building up inside is beginning to tear me apart,the tears wont cease they keep pouring out im drowning,theres no need to be in this body anymore,it paints a perfect picture but if you dig deep,past the fake smiles and the phony laughs you will see a sad soul trapped in a cage,longing for release.you will see im lost without you. xxxxxxx

hi bab well i started work last week and its not going to bad i still think of you all the while though. i went to see sharon last week thank you so much for the hug i needed that i ache to feel your arms round me. this pain is awful les ive never known pain like it i started crying on saturday [again] and it brought me to my knees, sometimes it feels like ive been crying forever. sharon said im not coping well without you thats an understatement, i thought i was stronger than this but then i always had you to fall back on didnt i and now im on my own and its so hard. people are so kind les but theyve got their own lives to get on with. i wish you were still here and i know i keep saying it but its all i can think of, you are all i can think of im probaly getting on your nerves but you are just going to have to bear with me sorry bab. ive been to look at your flowers today and i will bring some fresh on thursday cos they will be ready for changing then, do you remember when you told me you wanted to be buried and i said i wasnt bringing flowers every week well that was a farce wasnt it, but you know what id buy flowers every day forever if i could have one more day with you. i know i keep saying it les but i miss you and love you so much i cant even begin to tell you what i feel in my heart all i know is that i dont think i can stand this pain much more anyway see you soon sweetie love you xxxxx

Dearest Les, just been reading the message Chris wrote you. How she loved you Les and she couldn't have done more could she. Let her know however you can. It is hard for us all Les as we loved you so much.You always had that lovely infectious chuckle. Oh Les, your headstone just got to see it before it got dark, nearly needed a torch. Its genius. Only the best for you Chris won't settle for anything less and quite right. You were the best. Love and miss you. Gill xxxx

yo kid how r u bet ur up there laughin at us now u little sod. well all we can say kid is the old gal did u proud with the headstone its amazin youth , bet ur braggin about that O and ur fish pond well nice , miss u kid xx

why isnt it getting any easier bab i keep thinking perhaps tomorrow will be better but it never is.i sit and wonder if its the time of the year i hate yhe dark nights and yet at one time i loved them, its not the same now you arent here.the shops are full of christmas things now and its awful you loved christmas so much remember how you used to send our bess in to wake me up on christmas morning,i can hear you now saying go and wake mam up tell her santas been.oh les i miss you so much and i cant bear the thought of never hearing your voice again or hearing you laugh i used to love to hear you laugh i love you sweetie and i want you back here with me.should i have done more? could i have done more? did you wonder where i was on that night?did you ask for me?all these questions and no answers,i wish i could have some answers well you stay close babe i love you xxxxx

well bab youre headstone is up and i really hope you are as pleased with it as i am. i wish i could stop crying les but it seems theres always something to set me of, like tonight i dont feel very well and you wouldve made me a cup of tea,put your arms round me and told me itll be ok.i need your arms round me so much i need your strengh and your understanding cos i dont no what to do i dont no how to get through this les not without you here,you were my reason for being and now theres nothing left to go on for,and you no what it frightens me these feelings and thoughts i have please guide me les because i really need it right now,i need to talk to you so much theres so much i want to say to you so much i need from you i love you and miss you so much my precious precious husband stay near. xxxxxx

i wish that i could have you back but wishes just like dreams are things we can just hope for or thats the way it seems so i can only hope that you think of me the way i always think of you and things that werent to be you loving wife always chris xxxx

hi babe hope ure doing ok without me cos i can assure you im not doing ok without you.i really enjoyed my visit to australia it was so good to see bev and meet nick,you wouldve liked him bab you and he had a lot in common,you both liked documentaries and conspiracy theories you both also put with tempremental women,so you two couldve pulled me and bev to pieces and understood where each other was coming from.but at the end of the day i know you love me like nick loves bev so we wouldnt have minded not really.thank you for being with me and looking after me it was so hard to come home les knowing you wouldnt be here i love you so much and i miss you every day i wish you were still here with me,but sadly wishes dont come true do they.you take care bab talk to you soon xxxxxx love you x

hey uncle les.hope granny pants is taking good care of you (well that was silly cos i know she will be).i miss you loads,me and you would always have a good banter and have a laugh.i would joke about you having a jog around and you would always laugh at it. ill never forget skeg when i took your wheelchair off you and you ended up walking and i was in wheelchair,auntie chris wasnt very happy but mama thought it was funny.i have all these brilliant memories of you and i will treasure them forever. love you loads uncle les,big kisses to you all xxxxxxxxxxxx

hi babe sorry i havent wrote for a while but you are on my mind all the while i went to cut your grass today and i cried as usual.i know you wont be impressed with me for how often i go and visit you,but right now i need to do it i still have problems believing you arent here anymore i no i keep saying it but i miss you so much and sometimes les these feelings i get frighten me and the lonliness is just unbearable,why did you leave me you promised me you wouldnt and even though i no it was a promise you couldnt keep,i wanted to believe you would so much.i also no you would have kept it if you could,i love you les and i miss you every single day you wait for me wont you.xxxxxxx

hey uncle les.please keep a eye on auntie chris cos im so worried about her.miss you lots. love you loads xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yo kid ur in our thoughts every day still cant beleave ur not here with us miss u x

hi babe i havent wrote for a bit have i that doesnt mean im not thinking about you because i am. i think about you all the while from getting up to going to bed,i cannot believe its been three months since i last saw you,it seems like a lifetime,and then again sometimes it seems like yesterday.theres so much i want to tell you so much i want to say,i miss you so much les and i love you more than words can say.why did you leave me les you no im no good without you sometimes its so hard to carry on and i no you are giving me the strengh to keep going but its so hard.i wish you were still here babe,because i long to feel your arms round me and hear you say everything will be alright.sometimes i stil cant take it in that you have gone,i walk in your bedroom and for a moment its like you are still there,and then i realise its not real and you have gone,i love you les and miss you everyday you stay around a bit cos i need you near me ok xxxxxxxx

yo kid ur missed by so many and loved by everyone .small man big heart xx

each night i close my eyes, and wish on all the stars above that each of them will shine on you and bring you all my love i thought it was impossible to miss someone so much and wish that you were here with me close enough to touch but all the love you left behind forever will live on. xxxxxxx

hi babe what can i say that i havent already said i sit here thinking about you all the time.i dont know how to get through this les im so lost without you.im trying so hard to be strong and i just cant seem to get it together.all my family have been so good and i dont know what id do without your alan and jan and the kids,but it doesnt make it any easier.sometimes i think its all a bad dream and ill wake up and youll be here,telling me its ok everything will be alright.i so long to feel your arms around me,hear you tell me you love me.the pain is indescribable and i dont no what to do oh les i miss you so much why did you leave me.its so lonely without you and to be honest i dont know if im going to make it i dont think i can carry on without you here,you were my best ftiend and my rock i love you so much and i cant wait to see you again whenever that might be.stay around awhile babe wont you. i love you xxxxxx

they say there is a reason they say that time will heal but neither time or reason will change the way i feel for no-one knows the heartache that lies behind my smile and no-one knows how many times that i have sat and cried id like to tell you something so there can't be any doubt you are so wonderful to think of but so hard to live without deep in my heart you will always stay loved and remebered everyday.

i kept my promise to love honour and share i kept my promise to you that i would always be there until death do us part that is what they say oh my love why did you leave me that day i wasnt ready for you to say goodbye as i look into the heavens with tears in my eyes i wasnt ready for you to die my husband my friend why did you not say goodbye i would have gone with you however god knows best and took you home to give you rest i was not ready,no not just yet with only one regret that i didnt tell you one last time i love you and forever you'll be mine my love my friend this you must know and never forget i will see you again when god calls my name and says its time to go home and be with your husband your best friend again

well babe i was'nt expecting this i thought you would be here a while yet.i miss you so much its so hard without you and so lonely i love you babe i always have.

I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other that we still are. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was.