its your birthday tomorrow and i dont no how im going to get through it its the first ive not been with you in 28 years.i hope you like your flowers ive got you,your alan and jan planted some flowers for you here at home i thought that was nice because they will come every year.this time last year you were still here how can it be that youre not here now,i need you so much les i talk to you everyday why dont you answer me i can see your face so clearly but i cant remember what you sound like and i so long to hear your voice.i take cracker a walk and i think what if i just keep walking and dont look back will it make it any easier i just dont know les i feel so confused.sometimes the thoughts and feelings i get frighten me,i know you are giving me strengh but its not enough i want you back here with me.i want to hear your voice and feel your arms around me and not being able to have that is killing me,i am so sorry for how i feel i know you wouldnt want this but theres nothing i can do about it,losing my mum and dad was so hard but with you i feel like somethings been ripped away,i feel so empty you were my soulmate my reason for being and now youve gone theres nothing left to keep me here i love you les,ive wrote this today because i wont have the strengh tomorrow ill bring your flowers tomorrow babe so until then you stay close ok love you xxxx