well its nearly here bab i wish i could get excited but i should have been packing for two shouldnt i.i still cant take it in that youre not here and not coming with me though thats wrong cos i know you will be with me,but you see les id so looked forward to you going and the plans we had for when we got there.i know im not going to be alone but sometimes les even with people round me im so lonely its unbearable,please be there with me and help me cos i do want to enjoy it but i know its going to be so hard without you.i love you sweetie i always have and always will merry christmas les i love you xxxxxx